Umm...Did You Just Fart?

I can't count the number of times I have been in awkward bathroom situations.

Comedians like Ben Stiller make Irritable Bowel Syndrome [IBS] something to giggle about.  In Along Came Polly, he has trouble with spicy food.  What I love about this movie is that the writers touch on just how embarrassing it can be for someone to find themselves in such a situation, and also still brave the dating scene.  I have Inflammatory Bowel Disease [IBD], and holy cow...

Shit's weak.

Uhh, truly.

There are more than just a handful of things to dread when attempting to 'handle your biz' and  be cute on dates.

--Avoiding foods that are known to give you stomach issues.

--Wearing clothes that are comfy enough on your tum. (Don't wear jeans that are too tight to accentuate your tush if you'll have to unbutton them under the table during dinner.)

--You've got GAS.  If you can hold it, scurry away to a bathroom somewhere and hopefully you won't have to wait in line to rid yourself of excruciating pain... if not- pray that the person you're with has allergies that are strong enough to keep their nostrils plugged up until you're over your bubbly guts.

--You finally get to their apartment/ house/ friend's house/ studio/ whatever, and the bathroom is within close proximity to the place that you're engaged in conversation.  There's a fan, but you know the noises that will escape your body are similar to that of a dying Buffalo.  You can suck it up and let it rip-- or hold it in until you get home and try to keep a smile on your mug, though you want to explode.

Also- if Dutch Ovens will potentially piss someone off, try to be polite.

I'm so on this guy's crap list.

JUST POOP.

If someone is worth hanging out with, they will be understanding of your condition.  And if they aren't, then it will be valuable to you to spend time with friends (and potential dates) that have a less shitty attitude about your hardshits.  Ha! Hardships.  Can't blame me for trying.

You're better off laughing about this than crying for it.

Trust me.  Shit happens.


Ooh, one more thing! www.kickcrohns.com is underway!  I'll post information on Support Group Meetings, Awesome and Super Easy Crohn's and UC- Friendly Recipes, Events, and a butt-load more cool stuff!  Stay Tuned!