Wednesday, February 26, 2014

Fitting Room Win

I wrote a short few posts over the last three years that described some awful body experiences in my young female life. Having a chronic disease, especially one with such digestive turmoil as Crohn's, can be a terror on your bod. Weight fluctuation is inevitable. Your clothes will fit, and for a while they may not. They probably won't, if you're very sick. And you're GONNA. HATE. EVERYTHING.

The most important thing you can do to stay happy when you lose your curves, is to dance like an idiot. It's okay, you can laugh. Shaking your ass has been proven to brighten your mood, but it can also make you feel sexy as hell! I've been doing it for as long as I can remember. If it's slow jams that do it for you, great. Should bluegrass tickle your fancy, awesome. Maybe a little less sexy... But awesome all the same 

I had a huge victory today. After dancing around solo in my room this afternoon, I scurried down to a few shops while my glasses were being made. I'm always a little reluctant to try on clothes. Since I lost about 30lbs during my last flare of Crohn's, I've been buying clothes, and rarely so, for functionality rather than fashion. When I got into the first fitting room today, this is what stood staring back at me in the long mirror. 

Holy shit. Some of my curves are back.

I have waited YEARS to feel like a woman again.

And you will feel the same way. When the hurt heals, when you learn to seek out the sunshine, and especially if you accept a sick body and life as a vehicle to help others in our horrible but handle-able fight- you'll have spent so much time looking and recognizing the GOOD... Your spirit will smile back at you in amazing ways. 

Healing happens from the inside out. This means that the importance of your regeneration will happen not only in your body but, largely in part, in your mind. Think happy thoughts. I don't care how cheesy it sounds, and your journey will go by in a snap. Take pride in your fight, in your sadness. There's a reason why you're you. 

Not many people walk around with the strength that we do. 

Shake that bony ass with that fierceness that they can't touch.

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