Today is the first day in months that I didn't wake up in pain.
I decided yesterday that today would be a day for myself. I started taking my trusty probiotic, haven't cheated with diet, and am on the up and up- in a psychosomatic sense. [I'll take it, because to me, believing I'm better will get me better, I truly have found this to be a wonderful feeling. Staying on the positive end of things will do wonders for your health.] I headed to Newbury for some retail therapy on the cheap. I don't necessarily think that shopping can help ease life's high-stress moments... kinda nutty if you ask me, but this was a little different.
I haven't been in a dressing room since my Fitting Room Fright, last February. I try to browse online instead, but never buy anything. Usually, I chicken out by the time I get to the online checkout and end up emptying my 'bag'. It took a lot for me to get out there again. I'm glad that I did, because no matter what I tried on, whether it fit or not, I felt good for trying. I started realizing that I want to try and look pretty again, despite my not-so-newly formed habit of hiding in my clothes. I even bought two pieces that I really love.
[and these!]
When you're sick, and your body changes, you may start to feel betrayed by it. Watching, and feeling, my muscle and everyday strength leave my shell makes me feel like I've lost everything. Your spirit just isn't the same when you can't do the things that you'd been able to in the past, and seriously stings when you feel as though you've lost your physical identity. Ladies, I've gone from D's to B's... I haven't attempted to seek out any therapy until recently, and my appointment isn't until next month, but I strongly believe that talking about these sad thoughts and feelings are worth while, even when they're painful to acknowledge, let alone say out loud. Yeah, I miss my girls- but I know that we are what our hearts cry, not how much flesh grows over our hearts.
So, here's to making yourself feel good. To looking over your shoulder and telling the shadows that follow to piss off. Because you deserve to smile. Everyday.
[Even if you do feel crazy for what gets you there.]
Tomorrow is for creating.
I'll share if you do.
I haven't been in a dressing room since my Fitting Room Fright, last February. I try to browse online instead, but never buy anything. Usually, I chicken out by the time I get to the online checkout and end up emptying my 'bag'. It took a lot for me to get out there again. I'm glad that I did, because no matter what I tried on, whether it fit or not, I felt good for trying. I started realizing that I want to try and look pretty again, despite my not-so-newly formed habit of hiding in my clothes. I even bought two pieces that I really love.
[and these!]
When you're sick, and your body changes, you may start to feel betrayed by it. Watching, and feeling, my muscle and everyday strength leave my shell makes me feel like I've lost everything. Your spirit just isn't the same when you can't do the things that you'd been able to in the past, and seriously stings when you feel as though you've lost your physical identity. Ladies, I've gone from D's to B's... I haven't attempted to seek out any therapy until recently, and my appointment isn't until next month, but I strongly believe that talking about these sad thoughts and feelings are worth while, even when they're painful to acknowledge, let alone say out loud. Yeah, I miss my girls- but I know that we are what our hearts cry, not how much flesh grows over our hearts.
So, here's to making yourself feel good. To looking over your shoulder and telling the shadows that follow to piss off. Because you deserve to smile. Everyday.
Tomorrow is for creating.
I'll share if you do.
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