A Spoonful of Shudder

My original inspiration for a blog post about dating in 2012 with a chronic disease was trumped by another unfortunate thought.  When you're feeling crappy, do you vocalize it?  Do you let the people close to you know how you are, or do you mask as much as possible to avoid questions about your [potentially] poor health?

I'm still finding it harder and harder to find things to talk about- other than my sickness.  I am so damn close to remission, its either talk about how I do feel, or list the things that I'd like to do if and when remission comes.  Both speeches are uninteresting when given to the same groups, numbers of times.  It sometimes even causes me to clam up, as if I don't belong in conversation.  I think I may have actually forgotten how to work a room, something I was, believe it or not, once known for.  Feeling this way is dangerous.  

It is beyond important to surround yourself with those who will always be willing to listen.  I promise you, even while you may lose some pals in this process, figuring out who will stand by your ass when you're ill, turns out to be a pretty awesome experience.  And if you've got the kind of friends that I do, they will dig in deep to find what's really waiting to come out of your mouth.  Just remember that no matter how inadequate you feel in social situations, you must always be thankful for what you've got.  Any outlet is good, because if you're alone with your sick thoughts too long, they start to rot your beautiful brain like nougat.

[that's for you, Britt.]

These suckers are my nemesis.

You can even start small, by making small talk with a vendor or shop clerk.

Most of the time, they'll just be excited that someone is taking the time to be nice, so they'll almost always give you a small smile back.

Grub.

If someone doesn't wanna talk food with you, I don't know what can be said about them.  I like food.  Heaps and heaps.  Big fan.  And I don't trust anyone who doesn't like to down a greasy omelet every now and again.  Most people don't understand how lucky they are to be able to.

Never underestimate the human-animal relaish.

Uh... stuffed animal, that is.  Listen, I don't care who you are, or how big you claim to be...

Having a special little, 'totem', if you're a sci-fi nut, can be super beneficial.  I've got a slough, and I don't care who knows it.  It feels good to hug my lovely stuffed elephant Emma when my mama's not around.

We all know that real animals are pretty amazing, too.

Pretty sure Cosmo and I have our own language.

Got close friends?  Good family?  A girlfriend or boyfriend who asks you about your issues?? Breathe easy, little one.  You may just find that the messes that your bod causes turn out to be something great.  But talk about them, because four eyes are better than two, and you may not see that on your own.  Don't ever be ashamed of who you are, what your body can or cannot do.  Remember that no one person can do everything.

Except for Kelly Ripa.

Happy New Year!!