Ohhh, boy. This may be a sensitive issue. Hell, most things that I write about are sensitive issues. That never stops me. This particular subject is touchy because as I am usually super comfy writing about my Crohn's adventures, what I am posting today involves my significant other, Steven.
I have been pretty open about the things that I have gone through, with details of hospital visits and even pictures of my insides. What I haven't been extremely descriptive about, are the difficult times that I have endured *Gasp!* in my sex life. Because of steroids, complications and infections, I am not as able to... well, perform. This sometimes creates ripples in my relationship. I'm sure that Steven is frustrated- I mean we've talked about it- but he never makes me feel guilty because we can't be together as often as we'd like. When you're very sick and you don't have the normal comforts of life, you certainly don't feel as up for romping. Even if the person you're snuggling up next to is the love of your life. Sometimes, you just can't.
And that's okay!!
Sure, it's a bummer. Yes, I want to rip my guy's clothes off most days. Can I? Not usually. I have been a bit conservative in my span of activity, and I'm happy about that. Sex was never something that I didn't take to heart, and you should feel the same way, especially if you're sick. Letting someone into your life while you're struggling with sickness is hard enough. If you're getting down with someone, you need to make sure that they really care for you as a person. Living with an autoimmune disease can mean serious risk of infection. What your partner may live with, even if it's a little more yeast than you've got, may be dangerous for you. It's important to be able to talk things like that out with someone that you'll be that close to. I have never been more serious about anything I have let you suckers read here.
If you're freaked out about having the conversation- don't have the sex. You don't have to, and any small twinge of that feeling might mean reevaluation of your current closeness, at least in my opinion.
I have a therapist. She's nice, and soft spoken, and makes me feel at ease when I speak. More often than not, and this could be because of the heavy medications I'm on, or just due to my general spaciness, I lose track of what I'm saying as it comes out of my mouth. When I touch on a subject that can get a little uncomfy in conversation, I tend to lose conversational direction. I seriously just lose the words. I probably try to subconsciously stop myself from sharing my real feelings. I'll let Dr. Krinsky do the deciphering. In any case, talking about things like sexual frustration can really be helpful. It can also be embarrassing, but you have to remember that it is just another hurdle. If you don't approach those hurdles the right way, you'll end up in the fetal position without a clue how to survive.
And I don't mean just in the bedroom.
Open your yap. Other people are probably dealing with some of the issues that you are. Sex is natural and healthy. If you're missing out on closeness with the person that you love because of your sickness, it really helps to talk about it. Trust me.
Because I am totally red-faced right now... and I'll bet you'd never judge me for it.
No comments:
Post a Comment