Wednesday, April 18, 2012

Don't Wig On Me

When you can feel your steroid medications changing your mood for the worse, it can be hard to bring yourself to think of ways to buck up. I've spent time wallowing in these darker moods in the past and it's not exactly the healthiest or most fun thing to do. I would find myself judging others harshly, and that's never okay. Strangers, even. I'd look at what they were wearing, how they moved or talked, and think negatively about them. I'd see other girls, think they were really pretty- and hate them for it. I was unhappy with my body, being sick, and my lack of physical ability. I've actually acted mean to people. Not cool.

I wish I would have told someone close to me, so they could have promptly given me a kick in the ass. Negative thought, no matter where you direct it, hurts you, too.

Being judgmental of others because you're feeling bad about yourself is bogus. Pull those claws back in! You're not an animal, and appreciating people for what they are actually starts to feel good. You may not have to agree with everything that other people do or say, but they're not twisting your arm to get you to be they way that they are. And if they are, please reconsider that relationship immediately. Yikes.

I've started thinking about things this way: If someone is wearing something that I think is weird, I stop and say to myself, 'He likes wearing that shirt, hat, beard of bees, etc.'. And it makes me think of what I'm wearing, and why it feels good to me. This is probably even a kindergarten exercise, but it's come up in my warped little mind recently and become super helpful when I get mean for no reason. I'm glad for it.

This is the last thing in the world I'd want to have on my head. And if I'm not in a courtroom with that, and a gavel in my hand, I've no right to pass judgement on anyone for anything.

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