Are you proud of who you are?
These days, I am feeling better and better, but am still so terrified of starting over. I never know if when I start something, I'll have to call it quits because of a Crohn's flare. It makes things super difficult and can really be a blow to the ego. What I am happy about, is my ability to stay passionate about the things that I believe in, and who I am as a person. Not everyone feels that way, and it has taken me a long while to get here.
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Yesterday, I received my transcript information from Edison College in Fort Myers, Florida. I sent away for it last week so I could set up a meeting with an Academic Adviser at BHCC, here in Boston. I'm excited to see what I can do to further my education, because after being set back for so long, learning is something that I long for. My medications have made it extremely difficult to retain information, and these days I find myself nodding along with people in conversation with very little to contribute.
And sometimes, I feel absolutely stupid.
I could go on thinking that I'll be fine when I'm finished with steroids, and trust that people in my life know what's going on [or not going on] in my mind... But you can never expect anyone to understand exactly what's happening with you. We've been over that, post after post. I've learned to voice what's up to new pals. I let people know if, when I'm speaking, I'm all over the place in my mind. It helps them to better understand me, and it eases tension that I bring upon myself. I don't feel like an idiot when I'm being honest, because I am being the most true version of myself that I can be. People really appreciate that.
Showing others what you acknowledge can be strengthened within yourself does not mean showing weakness.
Say what you mean, mean what you say, and always remember why the things you believe in are special to you. And if you forget why, go look it up again. It seems as though I'm always researching what I talk about. It's getting annoying, but at least I can spend more time figuring out what yummy foods to shove in my mouth rather than pulling out my own foot outta there.
And sometimes, I feel absolutely stupid.
I could go on thinking that I'll be fine when I'm finished with steroids, and trust that people in my life know what's going on [or not going on] in my mind... But you can never expect anyone to understand exactly what's happening with you. We've been over that, post after post. I've learned to voice what's up to new pals. I let people know if, when I'm speaking, I'm all over the place in my mind. It helps them to better understand me, and it eases tension that I bring upon myself. I don't feel like an idiot when I'm being honest, because I am being the most true version of myself that I can be. People really appreciate that.
Showing others what you acknowledge can be strengthened within yourself does not mean showing weakness.
Say what you mean, mean what you say, and always remember why the things you believe in are special to you. And if you forget why, go look it up again. It seems as though I'm always researching what I talk about. It's getting annoying, but at least I can spend more time figuring out what yummy foods to shove in my mouth rather than pulling out my own foot outta there.
