Faking It 'Til You Make It

I know an accomplished artist or two who have let me in on a very valuable secret. This secret comes from years of hard work and real-world art experience. It makes the journey of self-discovery something you actually want to share. 

When I have the energy, I work as much as I can toward goals that I set for myself with my art work. Sometimes it can be hard to connect with people who are in a much more seasoned place than I am, and that's okay. I spent a lot of time being sick and missing out on the opportunities that may very well have kick-started my career. I try not to dwell on that- which is hard when I see someone crank out beautiful work like they're part robot... but, my favorite thing about any struggle I've known is that it always came with hope for success, even if that hope might have been microscopic at the time. A large part of that hope came from artist pals who taught me to fake it 'til I make it. 

That was the secret. Did I set that up right?

[one of the sweetest gifts I've been given]

 It isn't that I think we aspiring full-time artists aren't as valuable as those wo have gone balls to the wall freelance, I just keep thinking that when you hit a certain point in your career, you feel like you've gotten somewhere. Even if that somewhere is simply financial stability. Which is huuuge! I don't expect to be selling out gallery shows anytime soon, but I do like that people don't mind looking at the crap I draw while they eat their sandwiches in cafes in Boston. For now.

There are small ways to "fake" certain things that can be worth while learning experiences for when it's time to apply all of your MacGyvering to what you might think is the real deal. Turns out though, you'll quickly find that allll those small steps are the real deal. And the more you take, the larger you'll realize they are. Get those free business cards from Vistaprint. Start an online portfolio, even if it's a blasted Tumblr page. Mine is. And don't be scared to push or peddle your work!

For instance, I wanted to sell my work online for a really long time. I was pretty scared, considering how many of the people in my circle are celebrated artists. But I started to disconnect from online personas and paid more attention to why I liked so much of what they do. Nothing seemed as if it was  being done for anyone else, and that's the heart of where my work comes from. I decided to make myself a light box and photograph the shit out of a few small pieces that I made.

[You can Google how to do basically anything nowadays...]

Guess WHAT?? It was easy.

Really. Freaking. Easy.

The best part was how really freaking happy it made me. I encourage you to push yourself to do something that scares you, too. After seeing those small pieces on Etsy, selling some, and finding people tweeting about and pinning them, I felt like I could do anything. [Even though most of my support came from friends and family- they count, too!]

I want to get one thing straight. Faking it -to me- does not mean talking to people about how much you know about art. It does not mean pretending to be something you aren't to gain interest in work that you think other people want to see.

My faking it, was convincing myself that I had the grapes to do something I was afraid of, as if there would be no crowd response. Once I ditched a lot of my fears, I was able to jump through the steps that have started a teeny biz. That's just the tip of the iceberg, because once you start, the real key is to keep going with your work as if you hadn't just posted the last thing you finished. Guess we should get busy, right? And I've got much more time since I stopped giving a chocolate chip what anybody thinks of it. That's the truth.

 And really, if I'm faking anything these days, it's when I pretend I'm not the person in the room that just farted.

YOU'RE Out Of Order

When was the last time you saw a stranger on the train who wore something that you thought was nowhere close to stylish or just completely ridiculous? 

Do you think this way often, as shittily as I do? Maybe we're just jerks, but I've been trying to tune down my judgmental thoughts recently because I realized that I had been handing out free [and often incorrect] snap judgments like an underpaid member of a nightclub's street team dishes out poorly designed flyers. 

Have you spent time in Allston? I know, it's packs of Hipster college kids are sometimes unnerving, but I try to look past them to a place where I spent a large part of my 20's and remember that when I hung out at places like The Draft and Model, I was just trying to fit in, too. I noticed lately that I've been judging so many of these kids for doing the same things, and acting in the same ways that I once did.

After ditching the plugs and lip ring that I thought would tarnish grown-up Alicia's face value, I think I did okay, but I miss them.

Then I start to think about how many of my friends still have them. 
AND ARE HEAPS MORE SUCCESSFUL THAN MANY WELL DRESSED OLDER PEOPLE.

The girls that wear crazy, floral print leggings with holes in them that give a sneak peak of lovely young skin that you adore hating? I spent a long while finding reasons to dislike their awesomely stylish outfits. I realized that I've only been jealous of them. I know plenty of fun and talented adults in my social circles that make me totally envious of their progressive and creative fashion sense. Have you met my fucking friend Capricia??

I know incredible Research Scientists who proudly display their tattooed sleeves, and an  amazingly accomplished Designer/Engineer who wears the tightest shorts you've ever seen, AARON PANONE.

My Boyfriend is at the desk next to me right now, on the horn with WBUR and discussing creating a promotional film for them. And the tee shirt he wore yesterday had the word, "things!" written on it with permanent marker.

My point is that you can never judge a book by it's cover. As a sick kid, you'd think I'd try a little harder not to lose sense of that. People have treated me differently for a long time based on how I look. I'm small. Have you any idea the number of strangers that have actually walked up to me and offered up criticism and open speculation about my weight? I'd tell them to piss off.

Now I just have to remember to say that to myself when I start to judge others.

Because without Steve's fancy-pants cameras,
 this is what I have to work with.