YOU'RE Out Of Order

When was the last time you saw a stranger on the train who wore something that you thought was nowhere close to stylish or just completely ridiculous? 

Do you think this way often, as shittily as I do? Maybe we're just jerks, but I've been trying to tune down my judgmental thoughts recently because I realized that I had been handing out free [and often incorrect] snap judgments like an underpaid member of a nightclub's street team dishes out poorly designed flyers. 

Have you spent time in Allston? I know, it's packs of Hipster college kids are sometimes unnerving, but I try to look past them to a place where I spent a large part of my 20's and remember that when I hung out at places like The Draft and Model, I was just trying to fit in, too. I noticed lately that I've been judging so many of these kids for doing the same things, and acting in the same ways that I once did.

After ditching the plugs and lip ring that I thought would tarnish grown-up Alicia's face value, I think I did okay, but I miss them.

Then I start to think about how many of my friends still have them. 
AND ARE HEAPS MORE SUCCESSFUL THAN MANY WELL DRESSED OLDER PEOPLE.

The girls that wear crazy, floral print leggings with holes in them that give a sneak peak of lovely young skin that you adore hating? I spent a long while finding reasons to dislike their awesomely stylish outfits. I realized that I've only been jealous of them. I know plenty of fun and talented adults in my social circles that make me totally envious of their progressive and creative fashion sense. Have you met my fucking friend Capricia??

I know incredible Research Scientists who proudly display their tattooed sleeves, and an  amazingly accomplished Designer/Engineer who wears the tightest shorts you've ever seen, AARON PANONE.

My Boyfriend is at the desk next to me right now, on the horn with WBUR and discussing creating a promotional film for them. And the tee shirt he wore yesterday had the word, "things!" written on it with permanent marker.

My point is that you can never judge a book by it's cover. As a sick kid, you'd think I'd try a little harder not to lose sense of that. People have treated me differently for a long time based on how I look. I'm small. Have you any idea the number of strangers that have actually walked up to me and offered up criticism and open speculation about my weight? I'd tell them to piss off.

Now I just have to remember to say that to myself when I start to judge others.

Because without Steve's fancy-pants cameras,
 this is what I have to work with.

Mean Girls

Let me paint you a picture.

Yesterday on the train, on my way back from a short visit to Faneuil Hall, I overheard two girls talking about their mutual friend.  They were meticulous in attacking her physical features and the status of her love life, as well as her inability to dress stylishly.  Then, they started gabbing about how they will look better than she does at her own party this weekend.

I wanted to close my book, stand up and cross the car to ask, 'Really? Really??'.  I don't know of anyone who actually does this, so I refrained.  But I would have liked to wake these biddies up if I could have.  Hearing girls talk like that about other girls really chaps my ass.  We're supposed to be sisters.  Was my Grandmother lying to me?  I didn't think so, but the state of our sisterhood is in serious shambles.

 

Gossip.  We've all been a part of it in some way, and drama inevitably seems to find it's way into our lives.  It is how you react to less than lovely conversation that can keep things harmonious in your own life, and in the lives of your pals.  Watch your mouth, my dears... You never know who's listening.  And if you have to check your phone to make sure it's off before you start talking- take that as job one in getting your ish better handled.

We can absolutely change female interaction for the better.  We just need to loosen whatever's too tight and keep our ears out for our own insecurities.  If we aren't careful, they will kill our strong and beautiful species.  Until then, when you overhear other women talking about each other in a shitty way, remember how much it can hurt, and make sure you aren't making a habit of doing the same [I'm not forgetting about you either, fellas].  Because being a good friend and genuine person is easy.

 

Duh.