On Being Genuine

Hello, you.

Today I'm going to talk about relationships, and how to make sure that you're putting your most honest foot forward. We've all got friend, friend of friend, family, love, frenemy, and work relationships. Are you the same you for all of them? Or do you have different masks for each?

A good friend of mine explained to me the other night that she regularly watches just how different her friends are in separate interactions with others. After our conversation, I realized that I may have a few masks of my own. There's Networking Event Ali, Sick Game Face Ali, and Yeah, I Was Totally The One Who Farted In The Elevator But Will Continue To Deny It Ali, to name a few. 

The best way to form healthy relationships and keep them that way, is to throw the idea that you have to be anyone other than yourself, right out the window. When you meet someone, it doesn't matter what you're wearing, or how far you are in your career. It's about how you connect with that person on an honest and respectful plane. What comes from truthful and excited interaction can end up becoming a beautiful relationship, work related or not.

Are you close with your family? GET close. They're the only ones who will see you at your worst and continue to love you like they hadn't.

Those are probably the most valuable words that I'll ever be able to give. You can't change blood. And even if you stop talking for a bit, under the anger or frustration, there is always one constant: Love. Your family won't lie to you about what your faults are, so if you feel unsure about how you're coming across, ask someone who you're related to if there's something you can do better. Trust me, even if you don't want to hear it, those words will be astoundingly helpful as you continue to grow as an individual.

***On that note, thank you, Sam. I WAS a heinous bitch to that girl in the subway a few weeks ago. 

Work relationships. They're easy to let become solely business interactions. I think that sucks. Did the guy you worked with that one time just start a family? He was pretty neat, right? Send him a card. You'll feel good, he'll feel good, and it shows others that what you do isn't who you are. 

Friends of friends are fun. They trust that your mutual pal is a good judge of character, so you've already got your in. As long as you don't get drunk at their Halloween party and pee in their broom closet, you should be able to keep that impression. Not to mention, if you trust your friends, the people that they choose to keep in their lives will have the chance to end up long-standing pals of yours in your future. Don't start that relationship with any jealousy or bitterness, like if they were the ones to see The Hunger Games with said mutual friend instead of you, JIM.

I don't have any Frenemies. The one person to have hated my guts in all of my years, that I can think of, is Caryn Moskal, in middle and high school. And she continues to be one of the prettiest girls I've known in real life. 

To sum things up, BE YOURSELF.

Haters gonna hate, real recognize real, and don't worry if you think that you're not good enough. You are. 

Shoot, I bet you're cooler than you know.

Mean Girls

Let me paint you a picture.

Yesterday on the train, on my way back from a short visit to Faneuil Hall, I overheard two girls talking about their mutual friend.  They were meticulous in attacking her physical features and the status of her love life, as well as her inability to dress stylishly.  Then, they started gabbing about how they will look better than she does at her own party this weekend.

I wanted to close my book, stand up and cross the car to ask, 'Really? Really??'.  I don't know of anyone who actually does this, so I refrained.  But I would have liked to wake these biddies up if I could have.  Hearing girls talk like that about other girls really chaps my ass.  We're supposed to be sisters.  Was my Grandmother lying to me?  I didn't think so, but the state of our sisterhood is in serious shambles.

 

Gossip.  We've all been a part of it in some way, and drama inevitably seems to find it's way into our lives.  It is how you react to less than lovely conversation that can keep things harmonious in your own life, and in the lives of your pals.  Watch your mouth, my dears... You never know who's listening.  And if you have to check your phone to make sure it's off before you start talking- take that as job one in getting your ish better handled.

We can absolutely change female interaction for the better.  We just need to loosen whatever's too tight and keep our ears out for our own insecurities.  If we aren't careful, they will kill our strong and beautiful species.  Until then, when you overhear other women talking about each other in a shitty way, remember how much it can hurt, and make sure you aren't making a habit of doing the same [I'm not forgetting about you either, fellas].  Because being a good friend and genuine person is easy.

 

Duh.