Still Stones And Moss

Wonderful things seem to be happening all around me. Friends are having babies, second babies, great career opportunities, and finding tremendous strength in climbing even further from each new and beautiful place that they reach. 

They're wonderful! All of them! And they inspire me all the time.

They're rolling stones, and continue to be moss-free in most of their endeavors because they have the happy attitudes that allow themselves, no matter what, to keep going. Once you get a taste of something good, your drive pushes you to go grab seconds, am I right??

What about the other type of friends though, those stones that seems to sit still and gather inch after inch of soggy moss until it weighs them down completely? I've compiled a list of some sure fire ways to get those lovely little stones rolling again, and on the way to higher hopes. With much personal research, my little Gloomies, these pointers are for you.

Carry your Own Baggage

I'm fully aware that the camera equipment at my feet in this picture does not belong to me, 
but that doesn't mean that I don't know how heavy it is. That said, they still don't outweigh
 my history.

Part of finding your true self and becoming an adult on this planet is recognizing that if you spew your unwanted junk everywhere, no one will want to be around you. There's just got to be fair amounts of give and take, talking and listening. It's always healthy to vent, but solving your own problems will make you an amazingly tough person. And don't sell yourself short, you probably already make a great therapist to the people closest to you. 

Enjoy The Climb

Even grimy, smelly stairs get you somewhere. Shut up and know that every step you take is
going to bring you out into the sunshine again, and taking a look around in the muck can also
be kind of fun. 

Celebrate [Without Taking Advantage Of] Friendships

This is an important one. The ones that I talked about venting to up there, the few that listen and love you unconditionally? Those chums are to be held in very high regard. Be careful that the tear-fests you give them aren't wearing down their faith in you to become super happy [and fun to be around] again. Try to remember that just as getting worked up and being sad is exhausting, so is listening to you getting worked up and sad. At the very least, bring those idiots some cookies in exchange for putting up with your snot-stained sleeves.

Fuck 'Em If They Can't Take A Joke
This is just as important. Not everyone is cut out to be as sympathetic to what you're going though as you'd like. This will never change. Your soul-bearing is extremely overwhelming to some, so be respectful when you might not get the reactions you're looking for. Put your feelers out for who to speak to about your issues, whether you're healing, going through a break-up and can't stop talking about it, or are at your wit's end about a job you hate. A lot of people are [gasp!] generally happy all of the time. Don't rain on parades because you're too wrapped up in yourself. On the other hand-- if you genuinely feel as though you've been wronged or personally victimized by someone who doesn't understand you, don't get upset. Just walk away. In the long run, if they aren't close enough to you to really be able to care, it doesn't matter what they think. Do not hold this against them, just let it go.

Recognize A Greater Power

I don't care what you grew up believing, it's been proven that having faith in a higher power helps to alleviate stress and combat illness. Could it be that the Universe hears you when you're down and out and sends you healing relationships and sunshine? I frigging hope so, because I've been banking on that for a long ass time. Believing in something creates a sense of belonging. A sense of belonging leads to connection with others who share similar beliefs. Human connection can change your entire way of thinking. Freaking start believing that something's pushing you along this rock, already. Even if it's science based.

Know Your Limits

Ooh, you sure look like an asshole in that deep V. No, really. Aside from fashion sense and courageous idea sharing, it isn't okay to do more than you think you should. Even the healthiest person can easily burn out when there's too much going on. I'm talking to everyone here, not just the sickies.

Grow Up
Really? You still haven't filed your taxes? From last year?? Get it together, flapjack. You don't have time to screw around anymore. Your thoughts should be on how to better yourself every day. Go get a notebook, and write down 5 things to do next week that you've been putting off because you haven't felt like doing them, and do them... Then, do it all over again.

Note Accomplishments, Big & Small
How the hell else are you going recognize how you operate? Reward yourself with some praise and feel happy about something you've just done, even if it may be small to someone else. Let others who are close to you know when you're proud of something you've finished, or a new idea you have. Make them happy about believing in their accomplishments, too! 

Treat Yo'Self

Shooot. I like pink and red nail polish. I probably have three of the same shade. It makes

me feel GOOD. What is something that perks you up when you're feeling blue??

Create Your Own Timeline

Moving fast is for race car drivers and downhill skiers. Unless you love speed, and I don't 
mean the movie about the bus, take it slowly. Do what you can, and don't stress about your 
pace. You'll be even more proud of the things you do when you time them right.

Be Logical

My favorite Vulcan would point out when you're being an idiot. Are you willing to do that for yourself? If not, scroll up and read this whole damn post again. Being honest with yourself is one of the most valuable things you can do. If, deep down, you know that something's off, take a step back and rethink what you've got going on. Progress takes time. I've wanted some things in my life to work out soo badly that I've compromised my health to try and grab them. It wasn't worth it, and neither is your rushing something that shouldn't be rushed. Life isn't an Easy Bake Oven. If those brownies aren't ready, they'll give you the shits.


Happy Thursday. Spring is here!

Long Time No Squeak

I've grown away from this blog. I'm not proud of it, but lately it just seems depressing to me to post anything that could be Crohn's-related. The truth is, I've been focusing so much attention on trying to work, that I've been straight up ignoring my body.

Stupid. I started writing Stale Cabbage to have something to look back on in times of weakness. To remind myself how hard I've worked to accomplish not only finding peace with my disease, but finding peace within myself. So here's the deal, Alicia. listen up.

Just because you have more energy than you did a month ago, doesn't mean that you're any closer to remission. You know damn well that when a flare comes, it starts to brew long before there are any tell tale signs. Are you seriously thinking that ignoring the teeny red flags of your irresponsible dietary actions will keep your sickness at bay? Come on. You also don't want to realize that taking it easy isn't just something that most people wish that they could do- it's imperative for you. Man up. Take responsibility for that little body, because you haven't gotten it back to one hundred percent yet. That doesn't mean that it's okay for you to sit on your ass, either. I want you churning out more drawings than you know what to do with, making connections left and right, and organizing what to sell, how to sell it, and closing every deal that you can.
Then, I want you to blog about it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When you're scared of something, you tend to want to ignore it. People put things off all the time because they're afraid the outcome will be different from what they expect. I guess showing courage in situations that you don't want to recognize is something that few people are actually able to do. I also suppose that when faced with that very dilemma, I've been a mouse. You know, you're either a man or a mouse, right? But let me tell you a little something about mice. They're smart. They may run into a wall the first couple of times they try to find their way out of some shit-- but when they know what they're doing, they show up again with a greater strength. And an army to back them up.

I think that I am ready to spend more time thinking about what I need to do to make things right with my bod. I've started to resent it for everything that I've been through, and recently- I've been feeling not so great. I've been taking that out on the people that are closest to me, and I feel retched. For that, I am so, SO deeply apologetic.

So pals, mind doing me a solid? Tell me when you think I'm being an idiot when it comes to food, rest, and alcohol. I may squeak like hell for a bit, but I promise I'll share the good cheese with you... you know, when I can truly stomach it again.

Ciao, Amici.

For a long time now, I've been wondering what I could have done to keep my friendships stronger through my bouts of sickness.  It's heartbreaking to lose the ones that you feel you're closest to.  I can recommend a little help for those of you who are suffering from what feels like bestie-separation anxiety.  

When you're busy, you don't find as much time to spend with pals as you once had.  This happens when you meet a new gal or fella, start a new job, have some farkakta illness, or just find that you need some time to concentrate on your own path.  It can hurt, right?  Not everyone understands, and we usually look sadly at the situation, rather than finding understanding.  Don't!  Just don't. 

That's basically all I'm going to tell you.  Embrace your growth, even if it's in a different direction than someone you'd been close to... it might actually end up helping you to better understand each other as grown ups! 

Talk it out. 

Reconnect.

Share some crap.

The End.  

Mean Girls

Let me paint you a picture.

Yesterday on the train, on my way back from a short visit to Faneuil Hall, I overheard two girls talking about their mutual friend.  They were meticulous in attacking her physical features and the status of her love life, as well as her inability to dress stylishly.  Then, they started gabbing about how they will look better than she does at her own party this weekend.

I wanted to close my book, stand up and cross the car to ask, 'Really? Really??'.  I don't know of anyone who actually does this, so I refrained.  But I would have liked to wake these biddies up if I could have.  Hearing girls talk like that about other girls really chaps my ass.  We're supposed to be sisters.  Was my Grandmother lying to me?  I didn't think so, but the state of our sisterhood is in serious shambles.

 

Gossip.  We've all been a part of it in some way, and drama inevitably seems to find it's way into our lives.  It is how you react to less than lovely conversation that can keep things harmonious in your own life, and in the lives of your pals.  Watch your mouth, my dears... You never know who's listening.  And if you have to check your phone to make sure it's off before you start talking- take that as job one in getting your ish better handled.

We can absolutely change female interaction for the better.  We just need to loosen whatever's too tight and keep our ears out for our own insecurities.  If we aren't careful, they will kill our strong and beautiful species.  Until then, when you overhear other women talking about each other in a shitty way, remember how much it can hurt, and make sure you aren't making a habit of doing the same [I'm not forgetting about you either, fellas].  Because being a good friend and genuine person is easy.

 

Duh.

So, this is Christmas.

I did not put up a Christmas tree this year.  Michele and I have been so all over the place during the last month, with her finishing school (woot!) and my fighting Crohn's.  Let alone grasping for last minute Christmas gifts.  BUT, a couple of days ago, I walked out of my room and our entire apartment was full of small Holiday touches!  Totally made the week warmer.  

I put up labels in Spanish last month all over our apartment to help Michele learn the language.

( um, this is where we keep the plates)

Her decorations are much prettier. 

Hobbit Chic.

Today, I am in Rhode Island with my Godparents and cousins.  We Skyped with the rest of our family and stuffed our faces with a ridiculous amount of Italian food.  Then, my cousin Erik broke out the Mead.  Some of us are drunk now, some just gassy.  Yep, it's Christmas.