The Honesty Policy

When I started writing this blog, I wanted to be able to share what was going on in my life with my family and friends [most of my family lives far from me, and I've been away for a number of years]. More importantly, I wanted to start a journal of my life with Crohn's Disease for myself, and for my children.

I did not intend for it to be viewed by others. Sure, maybe I thought of a few pals that I could push the link to, but I had no idea it would be so well-received by fellow Crohn's sufferers, or so many passersby. I couldn't be happier with the result. I truly adore making friends and learning from people all over this planet, and writing Stale Cabbage has helped immensely in being able to do so.

I hadn't expected to spout regular fears and weaknesses that I find within myself as I take this fantastic Crohn's journey. After some intensely written posts, and sharing much about my sometimes* hilarious  bathroom follies with the World, I'm on a much better track to becoming well. I'm almost in remission, and tomorrow, with the help of my favorite GI specialist, I hope to finally get that wonderful news.

The awkward part, as if images of my insides weren't enough? Public knowledge of my new start. These days, I'm not afraid of exposing every teeny part of my Crohn's Disease. I'm very proud of that. But as I embark on a career in Illustration, every piece of my heart [and colon] is on display for all to see. That includes potential clients. There is a link to this blog on my professional website. 

Why?

Because I believe that the work that you seek should reflect on who you are as a person.

I know that in some facets of the commercial art industry, such openness may be seen as weakness. And if my work is seen as such because of the way that I live my life online, for other Crohn's survivors, I couldn't care less. There will always be people out there looking for artists who are just as real as I am.

When you're real, other people see that. They can feel it. That includes clients, peers, long-time friends, and significant others. I like the way my work reflects on my silly demeanor. I enjoy being able to hold a conversation with someone about what makes their project so special, and I want no part of a career that doesn't call for regular heaps of interactions like those.

Ciao, Amici.

For a long time now, I've been wondering what I could have done to keep my friendships stronger through my bouts of sickness.  It's heartbreaking to lose the ones that you feel you're closest to.  I can recommend a little help for those of you who are suffering from what feels like bestie-separation anxiety.  

When you're busy, you don't find as much time to spend with pals as you once had.  This happens when you meet a new gal or fella, start a new job, have some farkakta illness, or just find that you need some time to concentrate on your own path.  It can hurt, right?  Not everyone understands, and we usually look sadly at the situation, rather than finding understanding.  Don't!  Just don't. 

That's basically all I'm going to tell you.  Embrace your growth, even if it's in a different direction than someone you'd been close to... it might actually end up helping you to better understand each other as grown ups! 

Talk it out. 

Reconnect.

Share some crap.

The End.  

What It Means...

...To Be Sick.

Having a serious Health issue means having to know the difference between fun, and hurting yourself.  Too much energy used one day could predict the next to be fairly uneventful.

It means picking and choosing from equally beautiful days, just which ones you'll be allowed to enjoy.  Sometimes going outside is hard, especially when you're legs don't work as they once had.

It means repeating yourself, explaining what your disease is over and over, because most people don't know what it's like to have one.  Don't lose your patience with them, but HELP them to understand.  You may find that with a little time, they'll actually grasp some of it.

Being sick means missing, and even losing, friends.

Out of sight, out of mind, right?  You'll get those surprised, "How are you?"s that you hate, because you know that deep down, they're thankful that they're okay and most of the time won't actually want to hear your entire story.  But, and know that these are my most honest words, the truest friends will have your back for as long as you carry your plight, and even longer.  They'll ask questions, and wait for you to have the energy to explain the answers, even if you think you can't.

It means learning about your illness, and other illnesses.  When you've got so much down time, reading up on what's going on with your body can be scary-- but it's smart.  I learned quite a bit with my good pal google during my roughest times, and saved a few trips to the hospital by being able to calm myself down with explanations of the complications that came along with my disease.  [Just make me, and yourself, a promise... and never use google images.]  We're out to learn here, not give ourselves hives over what horrible conditions others have had and in turn, think that is happening to us.

-- I have to interrupt myself and add here that this year, I am inspired by a lovely group of creative and interesting people.  They do amazing things everyday!  [Even if one of them is my upstairs neighbor, and her contribution is singing at the top of her lungs to music that I can't even make out, but I know that I love.]  So... for that, I thank you all. --

It means learning trust.  When you're forced to rely on others, and your parents can't be around, being sick makes it absolutely imperative that you surround yourself with those who will love you as unconditionally as it takes to help you wipe your ass when your hands are swollen into fists.  Thanks, arthritis.  This process can be pretty painful.  Heed my warning, be careful who you let too close.  

It means learning you.

Your strengths, weaknesses, and a whole lot of thought processes you'd never imagined you'd even notice.  This is probably the scariest part.  I promise that it will be the most rewarding.  Ongoing and sometimes exhausting, with the highs and lows of the Grand Canyon, but ultimately- very rewarding.

Being sick means putting aside the things you love, opportunities to build your future, and sometimes even having a love life.  You've got to put your 'now' self first.  Now.  Trust me.  If that boy doesn't understand that you've gotta be in bed by 10:00 on a Saturday because you won't have the spoons to wake up Sunday morning and get your laundry finished before this work week, ditch him.  Wait, wait... what's that?  He's that cute?  I don't care.  There are plenty of other beautiful-spirited gentlemen out there who really DO give a hoot about you, and your sick little body.

It means learning that we are given second, third, even fourth chances to revisit our once-possible opportunities.  All that jazz I just wrote about giving up the plans you had made?  For one reason or another, they weren't meant to happen for you just then.  And believe me, when they come around again- and they will -they feel even GREATER.

Being sick.  Sick.  I haven't even begun to sum up what it means to be sick, because for so many people, it's entirely different.  I do know, that despite the pain that you're in, no matter how lonely you feel, and whether or not you're able to get up today, you're amazing.  You're loved.  You're the only you.  And it's your job to show this World your fantastic journey, because even if you reach one of hundreds, you've reached that one.  Maybe he or she hasn't had a go-round on this bullshit carnival ride, but you can be the loving and able hands to buckle the safety harness so that they know a little more about how to keep their eyes on one spot as they spin.

I keep my eyes on my loved ones.  My dog.  My going back to school.  Going back to work.  I choose to make my 'sick' what I want to make it.

I have the highest hopes for myself. 

And for you.

Make this year yours.

Queen Sized Blog

I'm a little achy today.  Arthritis is a complication of Crohn's Disease.  During these flares, I have more than enough down time in my apartment and must usually spend it in bed, healing.  There's only so much hobbling around you can do before you throw in the towel.  I decided to look for inspiration from some amazing people who have done some pretty cool things- from their beds.

Frida Kahlo,

 Painter

1907-1954

This woman is one of my idols.

Tree of Hope, Stand Fast

Frida Kahlo was an incredibly influential artist who painted while bed-ridden during different times in her life.  She was plagued with a slough of health problems after being in a bus accident when she was eighteen years old that broke her spinal column and pelvis in multiple places.  She painted through her suffering and left the World amazing pieces that depicted her pain and struggle.

John Lennon and Yoko Ono

'Bed-Ins for Peace', During the Vietnam War

John Lennon and Yoko Ono's two non-violent anti-war protests from beds during the Vietnam War sparked controversy all over the World.

 (This is how they spent their honeymoon!)  

Mattie Stepanek,

1990-2004

poet and peacemaker

http://www.mattieonline.com/ Go!

Mattie Stepanek was such an amazing spirit.

(I started reading about him when I was in high school, after seeing him on an episode of Oprah.)

A patient of a rare form of Muscular Dystrophy, Mattie started writing about and promoting peace all over the World.  He eventually became a Motivational speaker.  His poetry was published in a series of books called Heartsongs.

ALL of his books made the NY Times Best Seller List!

Sadly, Mattie died shortly before his fourteenth birthday.

But in his short life, he was able to do soo much! Though he wasn't confined to a bed, his struggles left him in a wheelchair. You should definitely visit Mattie Stepanek's website!

Ellen DeGeneres Hosts Show

 From Hospital Bed!

In 2007, Ellen DeGeneres tore a ligament in her back and was placed 

on ordered bed rest.  She hosted her show from a hospital bed

 that was brought onto her set.

She even went so far as to bring in her Doctor, AND the

ER Technician that treated her after the injury.

God, I love this woman.

One last, very important someone.

I'd kill to look this cute in bed.

So, there you have it.  If you've got to be on your ass, why not try a positive spin?

If life gives you lemons, don't bitch.  You just got free lemons.

Maybe I'll start that novel now.