When Recovery is a Bad Word

You know that last post I wrote about refraining from apologies? I suppose it's not so easy to skirt feelings of guilt for being sick for an extended period of time, after all. Keep finding reasons to praise yourself for your most healing moments though, even when you feel you're defending them.

There are always those around you who assume that because you announce your experiences with online friends, that the inside scoop is shared. That your "whole truth" is exposed.

It isn't. Sometimes, in extreme cases- if you're VERY good with a camera- you may even be able to pass these tougher times on as lovely, when they hurt more than the holes in your colon. 

I believe that during two periods in the cycle that is a flare of a chronic illness, you learn who the closest ones to you really are. This isn't to say that people who aren't wiping your ass don't care-- they just may not have the capacity to understand just how many times [or why] you can't stop shitting* your pants. Here are some pointers for those who are recovering from long-term illness and can't stop wondering when they'll feel normal again in all kinds relationships, and how to enjoy getting there.

*Shit being every tiny emotional, financial, spiritual, crisis, among too many others to list here.

Even SPECIALISTS struggle with this. Stumbling upon a strong community of sick or healing people is one of the most valuable things that can come about in the life of someone with a chronic illness.

Finding solid friends with fiercely relentless appetites for understanding can safe your life. Have you had eyes rolled at you, been hurt by it, and then realized that the eye-roller hadn't had more than a ten minute conversation with you in the last year? Me too. This is one of those pieces of advice that I'll highlight, italicize, AND place in bold: Don't apologize for doing things that make you happy after spending ANY amount of time thinking you were dying. 

DO be honest with the people you've let in about what's important to you, and try your best to vocalize the confusion you're feeling about countless lost opportunities, about spacing out on important things like meetings or social do's & don't's, or how to go about managing things that you haven't in a very long time... like money or time management. These are things that most people don't have to think about twice in their day-to-day routine. 
It's very okay that you do. 

Work.
Ugh, am I right? Some sickies with full-time jobs struggle with absences and tardiness pretty regularly. If you've gotten involved with the type of employer that doesn't listen to your needs, get your booty to your local SSA office as fast as you can, and make an appointment with a representative to talk about your rights as a sick person. 

Romantic Relationships.
I'm still working this one out. Let's dog ear this part, shall we? Just be as honest as possible, and go to therapy while you're sick so you don't fuck it up any worse than your sickness will. Your partner might not be able to handle things, and leave.

Friendships.
Ooh, you could make a bestie with a family member who's got the same illness you do, that's worked out pretty wonderfully for me. And where would you be able to find someone like that?? In your disease support community!! <3 This next part is going to sting, and I've gone here before if you've ever read any previous posts, but: It is probable that you will lose a large number of people close to you when you get sick. Think of it this way- if a pal became VERY involved with training for say... a marathon, and you just couldn't grasp what was so special about missing out on parties, ditching regular nights out with the gang, or waking up at the butt-crack of dawn to train for something [they felt] they neeeeeeded to, would you be right there with them in the snow? No. So don't be hurt by your chums not jumping on board with your mandatory marathon. 

I'm tired. I think this post is done.
[Because I'm late now. I can't manage my time well. Read up on what else medical PTSD will keep you foggy about- and don't apologize for needing to]. #sorrynotsorry.

The Whole Truth

I've always been the first person to raise my hand and call "bullshit" when someone close to me is struggling and tries to find a flimsy way to disguise it. I've also been the one, more times than I'd like to admit, to try and hide when I'm truly suffering myself. Which is why my blog posts and sketches are advice-filled and seem to be very self-directed.*

Most people can get by with half-assed self care. When you've got a serious illness, there are times when half-assing anything can be risky. Risky for your health, and risky for your heart.

I regularly depend on my pain management specialist** to cock his head to the side and glare at me as though he sees directly through my fibbing.

Post-flare, the period after you've been sick for longer than you thought you could stand, is proving to be more difficult for me than the roughest situations that my little body has gone through in these past, terrifying years.

Though it may seem foreign to some, relearning most everything that was familiar or had always been second nature is the trouble I've been facing everyday. Strengh comes in very intense waves. I had a heart-breaking separation late last year as most of you know, and that will continue to be very painful. I am grateful to have had such a wonderful, giving partner for such a long time. What I'm describing though, goes much further beyond that. 

If there are people in your life that are starting over, for any reason, and you're not sure how to approach them or you see that they're struggling particularly hard, these are just a few ways to ease their woes:

Make light (but not too light) of the situation at hand.

I bet if you somehow incorporated a fart joke, it would be appreciated. Despite that Cait Dooley says, "If they can't take a poop joke, they're no friend of mine", a point with which I happen to agree very much, it may or may not go over well. Don't ask me, man. Feel the room.

Offer to get them out of the house.

This is an important one. When you're depressed, your body will let you know if a good sob is necessary, right? But that can quickly turn into your general, "I can't move and don't want to", kind of day. It's a slippery slope, chums. Let's help our loves from self-medicating with drugs or alcohol-- and stick to the preferred, excess of cookie dough.

Watch Sci-fi with them.

Or whatever they like, even if you hate it.

Suck it up and be the friend you should be.

Keep dates!

I know that if I make plans with someone and I'm feeling like poop, if they bail, I'm sad about it for a bit. That's just me. I'm a flake though, too. I do it often. Which leads me to my next point--

Don't let pals blow you off when you know their alternative is a pint of ice cream and the episode of Friends where Ross & Rachel break up played three times in a row.

God dammit.

(I flake all the time)

Recognize when someone is trying.

If we try to have a little patience with our wonky friends, it might go a long way in their healing. Not to mention, it could do you some good to sacrifice time, energy, the upper hand in a ridiculous debate, or even your plans for an afternoon at a museum or getting high in your cousin's basement.

I have been terrified to continue with Stale Cabbage because I felt like a cross between a fraud for being a non-sick person, and guilty for becoming a monster while I was so sick and miserable for so long. Fuck it.

Happy New Year.

I'M IN REMISSION.

Resolution?

No more apologizing.

On Starting Over

Man oh man, I'm my best friend. 

Finding the secret to loving your heart if you've never really learned to is a liberating and soul-warming experience. It's also painful and scary as fuck.

This year was an animal that I never expected my eyes to meet. Remission of a serious disease is something that I waited three long years for. Now that it's finally here, figuring out what to do with myself has been even more trying than dealing with the illness itself.  I lost parts of me that I'm not happy to admit to losing, and feel as though I failed someone who came into my life only to care for and love me by taking too long to heal. Feelings of guilt for being sick, as wrong as they may be, are a pretty serious, and pretty common problem for anyone living with a chronic illness. It delays all healing. All of it. It makes more problems than you could imagine for yourself. And if you've got any emotional issues prior to that, you definitely start to feel as though you've been kicked in the grapes just too many times to get up and learn to feel good again. 

So what do you do?

You start over.

You start over in every way. And it fucking kills. But if you're beating yourself up about things that you've had no control over, you're not getting anywhere. You'll never forgive yourself if you don't stop blaming yourself. That's a fact. Stripping your spirit down to reassess your value doesn't sound like a walk in the park, and it isn't. I don't want to start life at 30, I can't even lie about that. Most of my posts are geared toward sickies [and not so secretly, to myself], but this is something that can apply to anyone with heart-shaped baggage. So, you know... probably anyone who reads this. 

I've never quite been here before, but I consider myself extremely lucky to recognize this time in my life as simply the beginning of another process that I'm excited to have been presented with.

While painful wrecking balls came through my heart and tore down walls that I built to keep real love out because it terrified me, because I thought that I didn't deserve it, they also allowed me to finally watch myself grow into a listening and forgiving, wide-eyed learner... and I'm so very happy to let the new chapter begin.

I'll finish this note with gratitude, respect, acknowledgement, courage and love. Because that's all any of us are after, and right now, I feel absolutely nothing else.

<3

Water Wait

I've never been sailing. I imagine racing over the ocean with the strength of the wind behind my schooner [that's a fancy sailing ref for those who care] would be pretty amazing, though. You know how sometimes you feel driven to do something really important? Like some beautiful force has it's hand on the small of your back, willing you to keep sailing until you carry it out?

WAIT.

I'm realizing that maybe some of you don't. I know that for a decent chunk of my life I didn't. It happens. You may spill some mango chutney on your fresh new Sperry's on sailing Sunday, sending you into a tizzy so uncomfy that you fall right off your fancy boat, dickey and all, into the heavy current of the ocean waves.

If you know how to swim, which I do [slowly and as awkwardly as you can imagine], it's not impossible to breast stoke your way to shore again. Or at least to some other sailor's boat for a bit, if that's what you need. I don't know the sailing term for bestest pal, so I'll simply call it "Meg*". That Meg might throw you a towel and giggle with you at pictures of half-naked hipster dudes until you're ready to get dropped off at your own boat again. 

*The name Heather may also apply here. 

When you do finally arrive in a safe place, though... when you are happy with how far you've been able to travel without swim-puking, the feeling is wondrous.

Kiiiinda like this.


There have been few moments in my life that felt as wonderful, but I treasure them and constantly hope for more. The greatest part is that I hadn't even believed I would get to this place. The last three years have been the biggest test I could have had. It didn't take much--just my voice. 

Now that I'm approaching top sailing speed, I don't resent that part of my life at all. I must admit though, that I am just a little nervous. Hence the lingering swim-pukes.

My poor boat shoes.

Still Stones And Moss

Wonderful things seem to be happening all around me. Friends are having babies, second babies, great career opportunities, and finding tremendous strength in climbing even further from each new and beautiful place that they reach. 

They're wonderful! All of them! And they inspire me all the time.

They're rolling stones, and continue to be moss-free in most of their endeavors because they have the happy attitudes that allow themselves, no matter what, to keep going. Once you get a taste of something good, your drive pushes you to go grab seconds, am I right??

What about the other type of friends though, those stones that seems to sit still and gather inch after inch of soggy moss until it weighs them down completely? I've compiled a list of some sure fire ways to get those lovely little stones rolling again, and on the way to higher hopes. With much personal research, my little Gloomies, these pointers are for you.

Carry your Own Baggage

I'm fully aware that the camera equipment at my feet in this picture does not belong to me, 
but that doesn't mean that I don't know how heavy it is. That said, they still don't outweigh
 my history.

Part of finding your true self and becoming an adult on this planet is recognizing that if you spew your unwanted junk everywhere, no one will want to be around you. There's just got to be fair amounts of give and take, talking and listening. It's always healthy to vent, but solving your own problems will make you an amazingly tough person. And don't sell yourself short, you probably already make a great therapist to the people closest to you. 

Enjoy The Climb

Even grimy, smelly stairs get you somewhere. Shut up and know that every step you take is
going to bring you out into the sunshine again, and taking a look around in the muck can also
be kind of fun. 

Celebrate [Without Taking Advantage Of] Friendships

This is an important one. The ones that I talked about venting to up there, the few that listen and love you unconditionally? Those chums are to be held in very high regard. Be careful that the tear-fests you give them aren't wearing down their faith in you to become super happy [and fun to be around] again. Try to remember that just as getting worked up and being sad is exhausting, so is listening to you getting worked up and sad. At the very least, bring those idiots some cookies in exchange for putting up with your snot-stained sleeves.

Fuck 'Em If They Can't Take A Joke
This is just as important. Not everyone is cut out to be as sympathetic to what you're going though as you'd like. This will never change. Your soul-bearing is extremely overwhelming to some, so be respectful when you might not get the reactions you're looking for. Put your feelers out for who to speak to about your issues, whether you're healing, going through a break-up and can't stop talking about it, or are at your wit's end about a job you hate. A lot of people are [gasp!] generally happy all of the time. Don't rain on parades because you're too wrapped up in yourself. On the other hand-- if you genuinely feel as though you've been wronged or personally victimized by someone who doesn't understand you, don't get upset. Just walk away. In the long run, if they aren't close enough to you to really be able to care, it doesn't matter what they think. Do not hold this against them, just let it go.

Recognize A Greater Power

I don't care what you grew up believing, it's been proven that having faith in a higher power helps to alleviate stress and combat illness. Could it be that the Universe hears you when you're down and out and sends you healing relationships and sunshine? I frigging hope so, because I've been banking on that for a long ass time. Believing in something creates a sense of belonging. A sense of belonging leads to connection with others who share similar beliefs. Human connection can change your entire way of thinking. Freaking start believing that something's pushing you along this rock, already. Even if it's science based.

Know Your Limits

Ooh, you sure look like an asshole in that deep V. No, really. Aside from fashion sense and courageous idea sharing, it isn't okay to do more than you think you should. Even the healthiest person can easily burn out when there's too much going on. I'm talking to everyone here, not just the sickies.

Grow Up
Really? You still haven't filed your taxes? From last year?? Get it together, flapjack. You don't have time to screw around anymore. Your thoughts should be on how to better yourself every day. Go get a notebook, and write down 5 things to do next week that you've been putting off because you haven't felt like doing them, and do them... Then, do it all over again.

Note Accomplishments, Big & Small
How the hell else are you going recognize how you operate? Reward yourself with some praise and feel happy about something you've just done, even if it may be small to someone else. Let others who are close to you know when you're proud of something you've finished, or a new idea you have. Make them happy about believing in their accomplishments, too! 

Treat Yo'Self

Shooot. I like pink and red nail polish. I probably have three of the same shade. It makes

me feel GOOD. What is something that perks you up when you're feeling blue??

Create Your Own Timeline

Moving fast is for race car drivers and downhill skiers. Unless you love speed, and I don't 
mean the movie about the bus, take it slowly. Do what you can, and don't stress about your 
pace. You'll be even more proud of the things you do when you time them right.

Be Logical

My favorite Vulcan would point out when you're being an idiot. Are you willing to do that for yourself? If not, scroll up and read this whole damn post again. Being honest with yourself is one of the most valuable things you can do. If, deep down, you know that something's off, take a step back and rethink what you've got going on. Progress takes time. I've wanted some things in my life to work out soo badly that I've compromised my health to try and grab them. It wasn't worth it, and neither is your rushing something that shouldn't be rushed. Life isn't an Easy Bake Oven. If those brownies aren't ready, they'll give you the shits.


Happy Thursday. Spring is here!

You've Come A Long Way, Baby

Stale Cabbage is my baby. 

This is our 200th post.

It may have taken a while to get here [almost two years!], but I couldn't be happier with the progress. Through this blog I've been able to talk about everything that I've discovered within myself, learned about the amazing city that I live in and am inspired by everyday, and all that I've endured through Crohn's therapy. 

Thanks for listening to all of my crap. 

With great friends and family, strong faith, and a little luck...

 I battled through a sickness that almost killed me.

And I talked about it with anyone who would listen.

[Sorry & Thanks.]

Because of that sickness, I developed a better relationship with food.

I started a group for other people in Boston and surrounding areas with 

Crohn's Disease and Ulcerative Colitis who can't eat pizza on the reg. The rest of you really piss me off.

I stopped to listen, absorbing everything that I could from amazing and influential people.

And I learned that networking isn't such a scary thing. 

Put yourself out there, you'll be super happy you did.

I discovered what a great friend I truly have in my Mama.

[truly.]

I lost my apartment, jobs, and most of my friends when I got sick.

I also found that I could turn that around, and felt warmth in rebuilding what was taken.

I launched what I hope to someday call an amazing career.

[first type.]

I'm still learning to drive cars with manual transmissions.

[Hey, we're not all perfect]

I met the love of my life.

I think he even saved it once or twice.

And I continue to learn patience and understanding as I watch him on the road.

[Some new pals don't hurt during these times, either...]

 It takes an immeasurable amount of dedication to keep sane and happy after nearly coming back from the dead. I don't generally pride myself in stick-to-it-iveness, but after knowing the courage it takes to pull yourself together the way I've had to, I'm proud of my ideas, powerful emotion, and strength of character. Illness isn't something that many people understand, and I wouldn't blame most of you if you didn't think as highly as I do about the things that I've done. But I will say this: Most people are walking around with something you'll never relate to, that you're heart will never, ever touch.

Practice understanding, mindfulness, and relentless respect for those around you. The relationships that we create in this life are golden. Caring for others, even in moments when all you want to do is throw a microwave in their direction, is absolutely imperative. 

I can go on and say that without everyone I know, I wouldn't have been able to find remission and stability in my life. But... I'd be lying. The people that I love have helped me [a great, great deal], but if I didn't learn to love myself, I would still be lightyears behind. Heaps of that discovery came as I wrote this blog. Post by post, I continued to learn more about myself. I also got a free, first-look at how I fair at practicing what I preach. For other sick people, I cannot say these next few lines enough- Spend time learning yourself. Take advantage of your down time by learning everything you can about what ails you. Talk to family and friends to make sure that they're on the know about what's going on with you, and never, EVER be afraid to ask questions within your medical community. You ARE one of your doctors. 

After realizing that what you know can save your life, you'll never want to stop learning. That curiosity will continue for the rest of your life- if you're lucky. Don't push your body away.

It's your best friend.

I love mine.

I hope you love yours, too.

Mood Poisoning

Cold, crummy weather makes me absolutely miserable. During the recent storms that blasted through New England, I think I cried more times within their few-day span than I had collectively in the last few months. Hurricanes don't scare native Floridians, but I was alone for the duration of Sandy- and that hurricane brought snow. Cosmo started freaking out before the wind started blowing, and his strange behavior (panting, whining, relentlessly licking his paws) made me nervous that if we really needed help, we might not be able to find it if people in Cambridge and Somerville were seriously hurt by the storm. 

Aside from the weather, I'm discovering that seasonal depression is a serious pain in the wobbly parts. I've read about large numbers of people with Crohn's that struggle with anxiety and depression without living in darkness in winter months. I've dealt with my share of mood swings during my recent flare, and just when I think there couldn't be anything else to knock me on my ass into a snowy, slush trap, it seems there is always more. Unfortunately, the list of tragic roles of a Crohn's patient doesn't stop at sick person. 

I was pretty damn pleased with my Halloween costume this year, but I do have a trunk full of other faces. Some are fun to wear, they make me feel good. But the others, they're the ugly kind that make you pee a little when you glimpse one on a haunted hay ride.

We've got a serious responsibility to keep whatever ails us in check, right? Research and  experimentation in pain and symptom management, too. There's also sticking up for one's self in trying social situations. Relationship maintenance is a big job, and you can go ahead and dump regular, 'normal' activity in there -if you can swing it. Sacrifice is a word that the sick know too well.  I've lost many people in my life because watching someone suffer so much isn't something that many people can stomach. It's almost as if the Universe had given me a buzzer that went off when the people I let in just shouldn't have been around. They left, and I moved on- without resentment or anger, because I realize that these situations aren't easy for everyone. 

Being tested in huge ways makes for an incredible spirit. I don't hold grudges or carry frustration about being misunderstood around with me too much these days. I'll admit, for a while I thought that keeping the hurt close would feel better eventually, somehow. I was so, so wrong. That mask was uncomfy, super hot, and smelled like my mouth.

When you don't put yourself out there, you can't complain when you hear things about people's uninformed shit talking, or that you've been totally mocked in public about not having been able to work for the last couple of years. How will anyone know how much you've planned for yourself in the time you were on your ass? Or that standing for too long could result in two down days, or a serious (and even more embarrassing) accident. Though since I got my poop card in the mail, I worry a little less about that last one.

So right off the bat, sick people are care givers and students, plan-breakers and fact checkers, objects of ridicule, and sufferers of lack of stimulation. We are strength when others need it, and even more when we really need it ourselves. We know how to let go, and mourn accordingly. We can make moments what we need them to be, and adapt in emergency situations. There used to be times when I wished for a normal life. When I hoped to just go back to the way things were before I got sick.

The truth is, having Crohn's Disease has made me a better person. I guess in some ways, it even saved my soul. I learned things that most people will never understand. I found strength within myself, and chose to rise above what I'd never have thought to in the past. I know what it feels like to love myself, and the body I've been given. 

For the first time in a long time, I'm seeing what I look like without any masks. 

And I could really get used to it.

Acting Your Shoe Size Can Save Your Life

There are advantages to staying silly. It's been one trait that I'm happy I held onto since my childhood. As adults, we find ourselves obligated to deal with more and more grown-up crap that we hadn't expected. I guess I've always wondered, 'Why keep it difficult?'. Goofing around can lighten any situation, you've just got to know the line that divides silly from disrespectful.

Keeping a silly composition helps immeasurably when you're forced to face what scares you. I haven't seen these videos below since Steve and I took them last year before and after a colonoscopy, during the most intense flare of my life. I like to think that it was this attitude that kept me fighting, kept those around me fighting, and brought me to where I am now. Closer to remission than I have been in over two and a half years.

We've come a long way, Steven.

And we haven't stopped giggling yet.

Thank you for keeping that cute lil' smile on your face, when you were just as afraid as I was. 

An [Almost] Epic Fail

Here's a little story about something serious that can happen in your relationship when you're living with a chronic disease. 

For so long, all that I knew was my sickness. I had no choice but to put other serious issues that I'd been working out for myself on the back burner. I journeyed far and wide through Relationship Land, and was just getting the hang of actually knowing myself as a single and independent person when I got sick.  

When you watch as the people in your life that you gave your everything to, those individuals being deserving of it or not, take a big dump on your kind and genuine nature, you become broken. You start believing that you aren't worth what you're trying to give in relationships, so you give more. Even when you shouldn't. I call this... the Give Give Monster, and it can also come a-running if you start to feel guilt for something [say, having a disease that you can't cure and receiving limitless care from someone you feel you'll never be able to repay]. GGM began rearing it's ugly head as I became closer to remission this year. Steven had dutifully taken care of me at my worst, and never uttered a word about how unhappy my sad and frustrated behavior, not to mention terrifying hospital stays, had made him feel throughout my treatment. It's only now that his resentment about the painful feelings he had harbored for so long is surfacing. And I find myself wanting to give up countless pieces of myself for our relationship as emotional pay back. 

What he's feeling is so normal, it's scary. He's lived with my disease, too. And I suppose a part of me might  always feel like I 'owe him'. Finding out how to heal together while healing separately is a must. 

Our Crohn's war had almost split us.

Almost.

We've done it before, we can do it again. 

For couples who hope to stay together through a struggle as tough as the one we've known, I recommend a healthy dose of relationship therapy. There's not a damn thing wrong with knowing what you want, and doing everything you can to keep it. I started therapy earlier this year, and Steven and I will soon be going together. If you know that you've found the love of your life, you should fight for it with everything you've got. Just make sure that GGM doesn't put a damper on the joy that you deserve for yourself. Right now, my partner needs me to be strong, just like he was. And I intend to be there for him like I wasn't able to before.

Not because I owe him. Because I love him.

Mind Full-Ness

Growing into adulthood is a lot harder than I thought it would be. So is deciding just how to use my energy as I do so. There are a shit ton of things in our lives that take a great deal of time and umph, but the key is knowing when to let those situations get you worked up, and when to blow them off the way you would a final exam that you're exempt from after acing the course all semester.
I am imagining that to be a pretty great feeling, but I mostly always blew the course off all semester and wound up cramming for a final that I wasn't at all ready for. 
Getting back to my point, I am studying mindfulness. 


Mindfulness is a concept in Buddhist Meditation that's been applied to psychiatry in Western medicine. It brings a kind of nonelaborative, nonjudgmental, present-centered awareness in which each thought, feeling, or sensation that arises in the attentional field is acknowledged and accepted as it is. [Thanks, Wikipedia.] I have been talking with my therapist lately about keeping my spirits at a stabilized place, higher than they've been during my recent health complications. Having an awareness of what's happening to you without freaking out can actually help you to get through what ails you in a wonderful way. Having mindfulness of problems means understanding them, and moving on to what can be done to better your reaction to those problems. This will allow you to rest a little easier. I'm recognizing what needs to be stressed about, and what really doesn't. And I'm tackling those things one at a time.

I have oodles of help from my number one healer.


What I am finding tough, is having so many things to recognize. I'm full to the brim with worry about my condition. I assume that after being sick for such a long time, any person will start to think that their body will always crap out on them. Crap. Ha. Still, knowing what you feel will help you start to recognize what will change those feelings for the better. So I guess I'll just keep the silly factor up until I can break down the list of worries one by one and tackle them individually. My mind's full- but that doesn't mean that I can't start breaking down the big woes.

Like figuring out what to get my Shaman for the holidays that will make up for all of that incredible bedside manner.


I'm pretty aware of the need to start a job hunt.

Picnic Day!

The weather in Boston has been lovely this month. Sunshine and cool breezes make afternoons super comfy, and last weekend was a great time to soak them in.

Steven and I packed some lunch and headed down to a park on the Charles River. We munched on veggies and sat in the sun with Cosmo. He loved running with other dogs and was happy to play with the children that jumped and giggled by the water. Pretty cute.

[Keeping watch over our blanket]

A day outside when you're on the road to recovery can boost things into the right direction, especially if you're with people you love. I've always found sunshine to be healing, and I absolutely love having my pup by side while I bask in it. 


Being out and about is a personal fav, but the moving and shaking definitely 
tuckered some of us out.

What's one thing you'd love to do this Spring?