Get Up, Stay In, & Get Some

Reaction to a new day/ sleep being over/ waking from that dream where Lindsey Lohan is my Life Coach again, can hit me in two ways. I either bask in the beautiful morning sunshine, or roll myself out of bed with a profound hatred for daylight. Luckily, this morning came with exciting work and I was able to wake happily.

My mornings are usually happy, though. I climb out from whatever cramped position my dog puts me in, with newly-hatched bird hair and the need for a bathroom. Most mornings for people living with Crohn's start this way. Our eyes are finally open, but our guts have been working overtime all night. This is no cause for panic for me, as most people ever staying in my home are kind enough to haul ass when I need them to finish up in front of the mirror. 

Today, I'd like to talk about urgency. Yeah, there was just a paragraph about rushing to a toilet, but what I mean to describe is the feeling that life hands you just as you may think that your starting to slack on what's important. I am one of the countless jerks who puts things off, but mostly because situations that call for responsibility can be almost terrifying, not because I don't have the want or need for progress and grown-up ish to do. I don't blow off all adult thought. Even though every single time I say the word "progress", I sing in my head the song from Nacho Libre that plays during a scene where Ignacio and Esteban shop with their wrestling winnings for the first time. Remember it? Just me?

Maybe that's because people with chronic disease are stunted every time they're knocked on their asses. It's comfy to revert to thoughts that require little effort, or moods in which a chat with a loved one can be helpful in pulling me back to the real world.

[You are a real person, even if you feel you're just watching the rest of them from your window]

In more than a few instances, it's fantastic to get a re-do. I won't even pretend to think otherwise. But, in a lot of cases, I find myself lost just talking to friends that I've known for years. Being cooped up for a long time can really screw with your head. The best thing... okay, after all that dancing around your apartment, the best thing to do is give yourself a project.

Even if you think they'd be super duper teeny weenie to anyone else, projects that you create for yourself can actually save your sanity. I know I've been preaching this for some time now, but it's so true that I even forget, stumble upon the idea all over again, and become inspired just as I had the last damn time I started thinking this way. You know what? Time after time, I am proved right. 

Last weekend, I made bird feeders. That's right. Peanut butter smeared on a spent toilet paper roll, covered in bird seed.

To some of you, it may seem like a ridiculous thing to do. In which case, piss off. To others, it can be a way to give back to our fuzzy, feathered yard- dwellers. And it's something to feel awesome about, because believe it or not, you're putting yourself out there for another living thing [even if he is a little dude who can't tell you if he even likes the seed blend you've given him].

The bottom line is that you can only go at your own pace to feel truly happy. Don't worry too much about what you should be doing, and pay attention to what you are doing. Take your time. You'll be zipping all over the place, wishing you had the time to sit on your bum and talk to birds before you know it.

I promise..

Flutter Moment

Though my outings are few and far between lately, due to crap weather and body aches [thank you, steroid withdrawal], I always feel inspired by the things I see when I finally start to explore outside of my apartment. Venturing out can be tough for those of us who have been shut-ins for an extended period of time. If the sun is shining and the birds are singing, being outside can be really fun, not to mention super healing.

This beauty was waiting for me as I left Harvard Station last week. 

I had been anxious all morning and decided that going outside, and even riding the train, might make me feel better. You know what? It worked. 

When I want to spend time with friends somewhere new, or just need to get myself to one of many appointments with doctors, sometimes I freeze up when deciding what to wear, what will happen, etc.. I start to get nervous that my clothes aren't fitting well enough because I'm still so little, that I'll be under prepared for weather conditions, that I'll run out of money and won't be able to make it home by train or bus, that I won't be able to find a bathroom if I need one ... I psych myself into staying inside. I've done it at least 4 times in the last week. It's a terrible feeling. I just have to keep reminding myself that pushing back into social situations will be a good thing, a healing thing. Not some terrifying experience that will leave me scarred. I have awesome pals waiting for me on the other side- and even if I didn't, I'd still benefit from clumsily heaving myself over that barrier. 

You can do it, too. Even if you haven't been sick, we all tend to alienate ourselves from friends from time to time. You're probably a little more graceful in your hurdling, probably don't walk into book stores with hummus on your face because you scarfed your rice cake outside so no one will have seen you. 

Funks, right? Ick. Who needs 'em?

Wood, Metal, Paper... Oh My!

Last night I attended the 13th Annual Evening of Traditional Craft of the North Bennet Street School. Every year, students, alumni, and guests come together to thank sponsors for their donations throughout the season and to celebrate the schools programs, and this year Steven was asked to film the gathering. There are eight highly sought-after full time programs and when students apply, they can be wait listed for as long as two years. This year was the first that finished works were exhibited at the annual event, and they will be available for viewing for two weeks at 125 High Street in Boston's Financial District. 

The school proudly encourages people to follow their creative compasses. 
To do what you love everyday. So great.

The event was catered [the food is always my favorite part]. I spent a lot of time gawking at the wood work, it was incredible. So intricate. There were chairs, tables, and instruments. One of the programs offered by the school is Piano Technology. A beautiful piano was being played by one of the students before and after speeches given by students, directors, and alumni.

How awesome are these?
There were also Bookbinding and Jewelry exhibits. So cool! It makes me happy to work with my hands, too. Using a pen isn't nearly as demanding as building a cabinet, but all craftspeople are valuable. 


If you could sign up for a class in a craft, what would you choose?
I think I'll stick to illustrating. I tried to build a chair once. It wasn't pretty.