Though my outings are few and far between lately, due to crap weather and body aches [thank you, steroid withdrawal], I always feel inspired by the things I see when I finally start to explore outside of my apartment. Venturing out can be tough for those of us who have been shut-ins for an extended period of time. If the sun is shining and the birds are singing, being outside can be really fun, not to mention super healing.
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This beauty was waiting for me as I left Harvard Station last week.
I had been anxious all morning and decided that going outside, and even riding the train, might make me feel better. You know what? It worked.
When I want to spend time with friends somewhere new, or just need to get myself to one of many appointments with doctors, sometimes I freeze up when deciding what to wear, what will happen, etc.. I start to get nervous that my clothes aren't fitting well enough because I'm still so little, that I'll be under prepared for weather conditions, that I'll run out of money and won't be able to make it home by train or bus, that I won't be able to find a bathroom if I need one ... I psych myself into staying inside. I've done it at least 4 times in the last week. It's a terrible feeling. I just have to keep reminding myself that pushing back into social situations will be a good thing, a healing thing. Not some terrifying experience that will leave me scarred. I have awesome pals waiting for me on the other side- and even if I didn't, I'd still benefit from clumsily heaving myself over that barrier.
You can do it, too. Even if you haven't been sick, we all tend to alienate ourselves from friends from time to time. You're probably a little more graceful in your hurdling, probably don't walk into book stores with hummus on your face because you scarfed your rice cake outside so no one will have seen you.
Funks, right? Ick. Who needs 'em?
